Understanding Principle Eight of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
#8 - The Principle of Love
The spiritual principle of love calls on us to be gentle, to be kind, and to treat others and ourselves with respect. It is a reminder to choose to “Live Lovingly” in our words, and with acts of love. As a recovering addict, I have found that being in a place of love is the antidote to fear, the ultimate place of serenity and acceptance. Through my program of recovery I have learned that even when faced with great darkness, I have my higher power to guide me with a focus on the light of love.
I can make a choice every day to accept that everything, everyone, and all experiences are “Love”. When we experience that place of loving and being loved, we get a relaxed sensation- a warmth, vulnerability, humility- and it brings us to a place where we can embrace everything just as it is.
The Principle Of Loving Others & Ourselves
This spiritual principle is also sometimes referred to in 12 step programs as the principle of “Brotherly-Love”. By treating others with love, tolerance, and kindness you are respecting their divinity- because they are of God too. By practicing the spiritual principle of love, we commit to our “oneness” – that unifying connection we have with each other which is that we all come from love.
The principle of love is about empathy and compassion and is in alignment with Step Eight of AA Alcoholics Anonymous. Understanding and growing are important in recovery, but so is taking action! So, when we make a list of everyone we have harmed in our past and become willing to make amends, we are practicing the principle of love. A huge part of my recovery and how I have practiced the principle of love is taking ownership for my actions, being accountable, removing anger or resentment, and making things right whenever possible.
During the trials and tribulations of my life as an active addict, there was a lot of damage done and a serious lack of love. I felt like I was thrust into the middle of hopelessness and it was nearly impossible to generate love for myself or to receive it from others. For me, part of my spiritual program of recovery has also been the healing process of loving myself.
This deep dive into self-discovery with the eighth step, and principle creates a better self-awareness that we must give ourselves the grace and compassion of self-love. During those times in life that are very hectic (even when it’s all “good things” that are happening) we can all get frustrated or angry. This is when it’s even more important to be gentle and kind with ourselves first.
I have learned how to create a reliable foundation for positive relationships, one that is built on the principle of love. This kind of love honors everyone and everything- no matter if I admire their character or not, I can still honor that person from a spiritual perspective because we are all created from the same spirit. I believe that loving each other in this way is respecting their divinity.
The Principle Of Love Through Meditation & Prayer
Meditation and prayer are a huge part of my recovery, and even though prayers may not always change the situation, they will always change us. When we have problems or questions and look to our higher power, the answer we get is almost always LOVE.
Remember, if you are in a place of love you cannot be in a place of fear or anger. So if you find yourself out of alignment with the principle of love it’s the perfect opportunity to try a little guided meditation on love:
Take a few minutes to close your eyes, focus on your breathing, on the center of your chest, your heart chakra, the source of self-development and unconditional Love.
Next, visualize a radiating green light-filled with nourishing, replenishing, and healing for your heart. Gently breathe into this area around your heart, letting it soften and expand on your breath. Invite in the color green, and bathe your heart center with nourishment, renewal & healing.
Now take a deep, slow breath, inhaling peace, love, and light and as you are slowly exhaling, imagine letting go of any thoughts or feelings you do not need. See yourself setting those free as you exhale any fear, shame, anger, guilt, pain, or sadness.
Love As A Way Of Life In Recovery
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”
-Corinthians 13:4-8
I know that some people bristle at the word “God” however I love talking about my relationship with my higher power, which I choose to call God. I love that when I don’t have all of the answers I can turn to God to let go and seek guidance. When I am in a good place with myself and with God I am better able to help others. This is where I feel like the principle of love comes full circle, and this is what creates love as a way of life in recovery.
The principle of love is not some kind of vague personal characteristics a person has, it is habits that we train ourselves to put into practice daily because cultivating these habits creates profound satisfaction in all of our relationships. You can practice love as a way of life in recovery by daily acts of:
• Patience
• Forgiveness
• Respect
• Courtesy
• Generosity
• Honesty
In order to foster love and live lovingly we have to continue to be honest in all matters big and small, and make a daily, sober decision to express and demonstrate love to others and ourselves. Always remember that love is an answer that can be applied to almost any problem! Savor moments by choosing love daily and relishing connections with others.
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