Understanding Principle Seven of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
#7 - The Principle of Humility
When I think of the principle of Humility, I am reminded of some of the most humble people that I have met in recovery. What all of these people have in common is that they are grateful, they are comfortable in their own skin and no matter how rich, successful or famous they are, they maintain a modest view of their own importance.
As human beings, it’s pretty natural to feel a sort of inflated sense of importance, because we can be so focused on our own thoughts that we begin to believe everything revolves around us. Our ego leads us to believe that we’re much grander in the scheme of life than we really are – and as addicts, this is what can set us back. There’s a unique dichotomy of addictive minds: "When you think you're the shit, but you really feel like shit".
A big part of addiction recovery is learning to understand that we are not “God”, we don’t have complete control over the situations that happen to us or around us, and that we certainly cannot control others. Believing such falsities can cause a lot of distress, discomfort and disease. When I found Alcoholics Anonymous and a program of recovery, I was reminded of certain ‘golden rule’ values, such as humility, that helped to keep ego in check, and to create a sense of peace within myself and with others.
For some people, successes and increases in what I call “ worldly things” can lead to the opposition to humility- a false sense of reality that feeds ego and character defects. Only when we are stripped of artifice, and at our most raw, and true selves can we truly live authentically in humility. The greatest gift of sobriety for me was expressing vulnerability, getting to know myself, getting comfortable with who I am and genuinely liking myself! I realized that if I am not being humble, I am robbing myself of the opportunity to get to know my authentic self.
In our busy and abundant lives in recovery, there are so many things competing for our attention, that finding balance is an ongoing negotiation. As addicts we tend to think in extremes: all or nothing/right or wrong. But in recovery they say, “right sized”-meaning not blowing things out of proportion or minimalizing something important, and this is part of humility. Putting the principle of humility into practice is a balancing act that gives us freedom from pride and arrogance; it allows us to accept the honor of humbly living a life in sobriety.
Humility: Follow The Golden Rule & Keep It Simple
Humble people tend to be happy people. Some of the happiest people I’ve ever met are not the highest on the totem pole or the person with the most wealth; in fact, in my experience they are the ones with the best relationship with God or the higher power of their choice. They are in a place where they are not moved or dictated by outside influences, and they are not looking for the answers on the outside, when it’s an inside job.
Life is really one long lesson in humility, and that’s a beautiful thing. The most humble people seem to do the things they were taught as a child when it was simply about “The Golden Rule”. They practice humility by being:
Trustworthy
Courteous
Kind
Loyal
Obedient
Compassionate
Respectful
Serving God
Serving others
As active addicts, there were certain thought patterns and behaviors that took us out of self, out of reality, creating low self-esteem and the opposite of humility. Even in recovery there are things that can come up, that act as triggers. When in doubt we always have the tools of the steps, and actions to take. We can ask ourselves if our thoughts or actions are in contradiction to what kind of life we want to lead?
And we can check our motives daily, being ever mindful of self-pity, dishonesty or self-seeking.
Living In Humility: The Gateway To True Happiness
Living in humility, doing things that you love to do, and surrounding yourself with like-minded people is the gateway to true happiness. Humility is a key to success in recovery but it requires striking a balance between all of our thoughts and feelings. As C.S Lewis once wrote, “Humility is not thinking Less of Yourself; it’s thinking of yourself Less”.
Humility is revealed when we are serving God and serving others, it helps us to get to know our true selves. When we are practicing humility we are more teachable and therefore wiser. Living in humility means remembering to put our programs first, and respecting limits. We can embrace but not overindulge in the fruits of success. We can strive daily to keep ourselves spiritually balanced, opening our hearts to the voice of God and to the most supreme principle of Love.
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