#12 - The Principle of Service

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, especially alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

This is the twelfth and last principle in AA's program of recovery that is founded on the 12 Steps and 12 Principles to help guide us as we learn how to live life being sober. Early on in the history of this twelve-step program, Bill W. and Dr. Bob learned that working with other addicts who were still suffering helped to keep them sober.

Alcoholism and addiction is a deadly disease with no discretion and extraordinarily difficult to arrest. While there is no cure, the hands of help extend through programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and our members. Being of service has helped millions of people around the world to recover. Understanding Principle #12, which is the principle of SERVICE, means recognizing that to keep our hard-won sobriety, we've gotta give it away. Sobriety truly is the gift that keeps on giving, because we get to pass it on.

UNDERSTANDING PRINCIPLE #12

To understand principle #12, I'd like to start with the 'Spiritual Awakening' that has led me to carry the message to others. As I've discussed before, the turning point in my recovery story was when I saw my dad break down in tears during one of my therapy sessions. After trying to commit suicide and hitting every single bottom that you can think of, I was in therapy for the thousandth time. I had never seen my dad shed a tear (except for when his mother passed away) but at this moment, my dad looked me in the eyes and said "your mother and I don't know what to do, we are at a complete loss…our marriage is suffering…we are like two planks of wood laying in bed waiting for the phone call that you're dead".

This was the moment of clarity that had never happened before.  I didn't care enough about myself at that point in my life, but due to the great relationship that I had with my family, their pain and suffering became the motivating factor for me to make a change. I can still vividly remember that it was like a light came on, something powerful registered that never had before… and I woke up.

This moment of clarity, or "spiritual awakening " is unique and different for every person in recovery, but it's always a transformational moment. The reason it’s important is that as recovering addicts and alcoholics, having had a spiritual awakening, we then feel a really strong desire to help others who are still sick and suffering. Being able to help people who are currently active in their addiction is the purpose that comes from our pain.

To Keep It You Have To Give It Away: Being Of service

I'm of service today because when I was addicted, I was the type of person who would steal your wallet …and then help ya look for it. As active addicts, most of us were solely concerned with taking whatever we could from the world, but now we happily give back to others what was so freely given to us- because being of service also helps to keep us sober.  Wanting to be of service comes in part from not wanting to go back to living life like a zombie, or wanting to die. But it's also about taking those traumatic and negative moments and turning them into something positive.

Being of service is one of the key fundamentals of my sobriety; it keeps me humble and connected. My mantra is "do something nice for somebody and don't get caught". There's nothing more gratifying than giving back and not looking for something in return. When you can be of service and see the change in somebody it's sustainable- because they pass that on to somebody else, creating one big beautiful recovery chain of service and love.

I believe that if you're not happy, you're not serving others. We are built to serve. It's in our nature to want to help others, and most of us even feel off-kilter when we're not of service. According to research, there is a science to it all: serving others affects the same part of our brains as food and sex. Which is probably why it works so well.

Helping someone who is struggling puts things into perspective; it's a reality check allowing us to "right-size" and reminds us of the grace of God. There are many different levels of being of service for me. Sometimes it's as simple as helping somebody carry a box when they move into their first sobriety apartment, helping them through the steps, or finding a solution to an issue. And then other times, it's about getting people into treatment with scholarships.

Being of service doesn't always have to do with helping addicts or people in recovery. We are social beings, and being of service to each other is just fundamental. It allows us the opportunity to be nicer to others and therefore learn how to be more forgiving of ourselves. Ultimately, it's what ties together the 12 principles and it's one of the most beautiful gifts of sobriety.

Practice The Principles: Keep It simple

When it comes to practicing the 12 Principles there are opportunities every day to better other people's lives and our own- but I try not to overcomplicate it. For me, it's really about a fundamental balance and keeping it simple. I've learned that I need to keep it slow and steady on the daily. I have a foundation of recovery that helps to keep me sober which is: Fellowship, Service, and God.

AA has been the foundation of my sobriety; it has molded and shaped me. Truly, my life is better than it has ever been, but like a piece of clay on a potter's wheel, there needs to be consistency and structure- because if I push too hard, things start to spin out!

To me, "Practicing the principles in all of my affairs” means:

•  Wake up in the morning and pray, meditate and give gratitude.

•  Be accountable for my actions as I go through the day.

•  Keep myself in check asking how important each thing is.

•  Listen to my sensors -if I'm feeling anxious or overwhelmed, look at what are the causes of those things, asking what I can change or what actions I can take.

•  Reflect at the end of the day, list the things that worked and areas where I fell short and can improve…

•  Make things right when necessary.

 At the end of the day, it's just taking one step at a time, that's all you can do.

No one practices the AA principles or does the AA steps perfectly! But if you're struggling with a particular area of your life right now, applying one (or several) of the 12 steps and principles to it will probably help.

It takes work and discipline and in the beginning, it was frustrating and hard and I didn't want to do it.  But now it's become such a part of my life that when I don't do it I suffer the consequences. I feel off and weird.  It's allowed me to be a really good husband, father, friend, brother, son, employee… someone who is trustworthy and accountable; someone people can rely on and confide in. All those personal attributes that were lost during my addiction were found again in sobriety.

Being able to be of service means being present, alive, right here and now. And it truly is a gift.

In closing, I am wishing you a deeper understanding of the 12 Principles of AA, and a long, slow recovery.

View Principle 11: Spirituality ➞

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