How To Manage Sober Living During The Holidays: New Traditions, Tips & Wisdom
The holidays are all about family and traditions and now that you’re living sober it’s the perfect time to create new and improved sober traditions.
Avoiding old bad habits and traditions from addiction days can be difficult for recovering addicts who don’t have specific plans in place to stay sober. So, work with a counselor, sponsor, trusted friends and/or mentors who can provide words of wisdom and tips…and make sure you know exactly what steps to take to avoid holiday problems that might prompt relapse.
All of us in recovery were convinced in the beginning that there was no way we could ever handle celebrations and especially the holidays without having an alcoholic drink in our hands.
Turns out, not only are there plenty of other delicious things to drink and eat that are non-alcoholic, but the holidays are SO much more enjoyable and cheerful when we are present, sober and creating happy memories.
Sober Living During The Holidays
The holidays are upon us! From Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day it’s the season for parties, family dinners, holiday events, work get-togethers, holiday open houses, and 24/7 socializing.
The thing about all of these holiday activities is that they can involve certain triggers, especially for those early on in their recovery. The holiday season is filled with triggers: financial pressure, family conflicts and large gatherings. Typically, the holidays involve seeing old friends, family and situations that may have involved drinking or using drugs in the past. The potential for holiday triggers and going back to old ways is present for everyone, not just addicts–but it’s a life or death matter for those of us in recovery.
So maybe this year you’ll really rethink those holiday obligations. Do you have to go to that Christmas office party? For just this year, is it mandatory that you risk your sobriety to endure a family dinner with that uncle who triggers your desire to “throw a few back” or to drink or use drugs?
Too many of us living sober lives feel obligated to put ourselves in situations that may not be good for us. The reality is, you are not obligated to do any of those things if they threaten your sobriety.
Why? Because sobriety comes first–or all else will be lost.
Sober Holidays Tips & Wisdom
Tips for Living Sober During the Holidays
Sober holidays bring challenges of many kinds for us all, whether it’s someone’s first sober year or their 40th. Doctors, specialist and experts of all kinds suggest that having a plan of action, a pre-determined blueprint for success laid out, will not only insure relapse prevention but will provide a sense of security. So here are some tips I’ve gathered around the coffee and cookies table and some sober wisdom on how to get through these holidays feeling happy joyous and free!
HALT: Get plenty of rest, watch what you eat, get exercise, and meditate. Remember the HALT acronym. Don’t let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Cravings occur when we are experiencing these feelings, so recognize them.
UNTEMPT: Don’t romance the drink or drug. That tends to happen when we are alone so avoid isolation and instead connect with people you like who are not substance users. Don’t expose yourself to unnecessary temptations, such as gatherings where alcohol is the center of entertainment.
MEET: Your support system is here for just these situations. Plan a meeting before and after an event if possible and have planned telephone calls to friends and sponsors.
PLAN: Have a rehearsed script for why you don’t drink. People can be pushy, especially people who are drinking, right? Politely declining sometimes doesn’t work. So have a line prepared, something like “I don’t drink for health reasons,” and walk away if you must–you never owe an explanation.
PREPARE: Have a drink in your hand. Make sure to prepare your own non-alcoholic drink (or watch the person doing it) and have it with you at the event. This will not only stop people from offering a drink, but it will keep you hydrated, and depending on the drink maybe even provide a little sugar.
FOCUS: Stay in the present, focus on today. One day at a time, and staying sober just for today are part of how people stay sober for consistent lengths of time.
CONNECT: Stay connected: Whenever possible have a sober person who is in/or supports your recovery with you.
JOY: Make a list of holiday joys! Trimming the tree, making decorations, wrapping cool presents, enjoying the snow…you’ll be amazed at how many things other than alcohol bring joy.
EXIT: Always have a safety exit; you’ve pick your events wisely, make sure you can leave, safely, anytime if uncomfortable.
New Traditions: Celebrate The Holidays, Sober
Life in sobriety is beautiful and that alone is something to celebrate. Even though recovery is serious business, it’s really important to have fun. Laugh a lot more, seeing the humor in everything going on and take from the celebrations of the holiday season what works for you…and leave the rest.
This holiday season get out and find new ways to celebrate; create new rituals and new traditions that will help redefine a joyful holiday season for you and those you love. Start by hosting a holiday gathering for special recovery friends and/or attend one of the many celebrations of your Twelve Step group.
I really love this great sober tradition of writing a letter to at least one person who has touched your life in a meaningful way during the past year. In addition to it being a wonderful gift to the recipient, knowing that they have made a positive difference in your life, the letter reminds you how far you have progressed in your recovery.
The holidays are such a special time, charged with a magic of its own, and the perfect time to evaluate your spirituality. Find your own personal way to draw from the spirit of the season and return your holidays to their spiritual foundation.