Understanding Principle Five of AA Alcoholics Anonymous
#5 - The Principle of Integrity
A program of recovery is founded on several principles that help guide us as we learn how to live life being sober- including honesty and integrity, among many others. Integrity is the groundwork principle that instructs our recovery on a daily basis, at home, work, or at play. Integrity helps us develop and maintain our own personal value system and to identify who and what we want to be known for.
Here’s what I think is cool about integrity: Defining and practicing integrity in our everyday lives doesn’t have to be complex; integrity can be as simple as doing the next right thing, even when the choice isn't easy (or when no one is looking). For addicts in recovery, the principle of integrity means staying true to our word, and ourselves. The first step is to begin working towards an attitude of excellence in every part of our existence.
Every day we are provided with “integrity moments”- those opportunities to build a stronger recovery, and to free ourselves from the mindsets of our past life. It’s really not very complicated to let your simple, everyday actions be a testament to recovery and the values that you stand for. Here are some simple ways to infuse integrity into your every day, with behaviors and actions that build a solid program of recovery:
1) When communicating with others, be open and honest.
2) Follow through on commitments and be dependable.
3) Own up to your shortcomings and hold yourself accountable.
The beauty of sobriety and having a program of recovery is that I have been able to reestablish behaviors that support and nourish my integrity…but this wasn’t always the case! During my active addiction, I was so untrue to my word that I would tell you that I was having a hamburger when I was really eating a hotdog! I was so out of it that I didn't even know what the truth was anymore- and I certainly didn’t know what was right from wrong. I was in such denial, that I actually believed my own lies. I had totally lost sight of my integrity.
Addictive traits are to “lie cheat and steal” and those characters' flaws and shortcomings can become the status quo if left unchecked. Dishonesty leads me down a slippery slope, and in my experience tends to spiral: when I was in the throes of active addiction I lost sight of who I am, what I love, and what I believe in. This is why for me, living in accordance with my beliefs and affirming healthy habits, is pretty important.
Integrity: Honesty Is The Best Policy
I grew up with such strong moral values; the people around me lived in accordance with deep values, faith, and a high set of standards. My parents really instilled integrity into our core family values at a young age, which I'm really grateful for- because later on down the road after I went through my journey and struggles, I had a foundation to come back to. However, when I was in the throes of active addiction, I lost sight of integrity and core values and became a shell of a person. Addiction even robbed me of integrity on a physical level: it made me stop doing all the activities that I love and have passion and joy around, such as surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding, baseball, soccer, or tennis we're also lost. I remember being at such a deep bottom, messed up, all alone in an apartment, and wondering how I had lost everything important to me -including my integrity.
One of the key components that helped get me sober was getting real honest. Through acts of honesty, the shadows of addiction and self-deprecating were mitigated when I got sober. Honesty really does set you free, and for me, integrity is not just about my honest relationships with other people but also with myself. Dishonesty is an addictive behavior and it can be risky for recovery, which is why even in those little temptation moments of life, honesty is always the best policy. Recovery set me on a new path, where life has a new sense of transparency, which affords me the ability, to be honest. It’s a blessing, and integral to staying sober.
Breaking It Down, To Build It Back Up: Maintaining Integrity
One of the greatest gifts of sobriety is that I can actually make a difference and be counted on now when people look to me for help. I went from being a person who couldn't even trust himself, to somebody that others could depend on and actually call for help!
Having and maintaining integrity is something that we can all learn, or re-learn, that builds on itself. We don't have to complicate things (keep it simple, smarty-pants).
What does Integrity mean to you? What comes to mind when you think of achievement? Who are people that you look up to or admire, and what are the noticeable traits that set them apart? How might you accomplish those things?
Work with a recovery coach, sponsor, or mentor and stay accountable. Make it a priority to check-in with people you trust who will challenge you and ask you the hard questions. Take one thing at a time; create structure and safety with your “Ideal 24”, build your character one step at a time and do it to the best of your ability.
You will mess up – and that’s okay. Practicing principles in recovery doesn’t mean we’ll show up or tell the truth 100% of the time. However, it does provide the framework to keep striving for better, to make the next day better than the day before. If we make a mistake or go against our own personal integrity, a program of recovery gives us the ability to accept it, fix it and strive to do better the next time. In the moments when you feel like giving in, have patience, endurance, fortitude most of all courage. Pause to remember that you are practicing the principles in all your affairs for your new life: for new opportunities to help others and live a life that you can feel proud of.
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